


I Want You So Much (But I Hate Your Guts)

by orphan_account



Series: Stop Crying to the Ocean [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Under the Red Hood
Genre: Abduction, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Angst!, Canon Typical Violence, Drama!, Drug Dealing, Drugging, M/M, Mentions of Canonical Character Death, Organized Crime, Under the Red Hood!Jason, confined, containment, hurt no comfort!, jaydick_flashfic: atonement, mer!Dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2019-11-03 17:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17881919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jason's returned from the dead and reclaimed what's his, but somehow, what's his doesn't seem content with Jason's very considerate aquarium landscaping.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A continuation of a previous short fic about Jason finding Dick in Gotham Bay, and bringing him back to the cave (Throw Me in the Water (Don't Think About the Splash I Will Create.)) 
> 
> I cheated and tied it in with the atonement theme for the jay/dick flash fic prompt :)

Jason tapped his fingers against a wooden crate that cradled defective arms he intended to leak into Black Mask’s supply. His helmet lay in its biometrically locked safe. He never wore the helmet in the warehouse; Dick didn’t like it.

Across the room, Dick’s meticulously crafted tank lay in suspended animation. A design flaw, on Jason’s part. Prior to his reintroduction to Gotham’s streets, he’d filled entire sketchbooks with concept art in anticipation for his reunion with Dick. He’d prepared the current tank, v1, as it were, weeks before seeking out Dick. He’d decided, at least for this rough draft, to imitate Iwagumi style aquascaping. Each rock, each species of carpeting plant, was arranged in anticipation of the only reunion Jason pined over in his death and subsequent absence.

But then Jason stumbled upon the newest boy wonder, and his anger perverted a sheepish proposal into an abduction. The well-plotted landscaping provided an excess of opportunity for Dick to hide and hide he did.

In all of Jason’s planning, he’d kept the décor largely deep-toned and neutral, relying on Dick’s presence to brighten the tank. Without Dick, the display was a paltry eyesore.

The far-right warehouse door slung open with a metallic clang. Jason sneered as heavy boots thudded on the concrete floor. Two of Jason’s dealers dragged in a third man, kicking and screaming from between them, where they gripped tightly onto his upper arms. The chains hanging from his jeans scraped against the ground, and his shouting reverberated. Jason caught a flicker of movement from within one of the tank’s rock structures.

“Step lightly, boys,” Jason called, still watching the tank. “You’re agitating the man of the house.” He swiveled on his heels and grinned without humor at the restrained man, where he heaved in fury and exertion. According to one of his informants, the soon-to-be-ex-employee had been harassing some of the women working the Narrows, which wasn’t behavior that Jason tolerated. His crimes were victimless, at least by utilitarian standards, and most of his men knew that. And those that didn’t were about to find out; Jason sent the two dealers to make a very public show of apprehending the perpetrator.  

His men delivered, and their passion for the work showed through by way of bruises splashed across the perp’s cheeks and the perp’s swollen lip. Despite this, perhaps because of this, the perp did not heed Jason’s noise-control reminder, and he did not quiet his violent kicking.

 Jason pulled a gun and flicked the safety with a satisfying click. The man immediately froze.

“Apologize,” Jason growled.

Faced with the barrel of a gun, the man erupted into shaking sobs. He blubbered garbled regrets like “I’m sorry, boss, I didn’ mean it” and “won’t happen again,” but Jason shook his head.

“Not to me,” Jason murmured, gesturing to the tank. A clump of grass floated loose in the water, where it’d been torn out of place. “We’ll get to me, but sound travels 4.3 times faster in water than air. And with vibrations traveling through _this_ concrete?” Jason sucked his teeth. “It ain’t nice to kick it like that. Go, apologize to him.”

The man tore his gaze from Jason to balk at the tank. Jason didn’t recognize this lackey but in passing; that meant he hadn’t spent much time in the home base. Still, word among the ranks traveled, Jason had no doubt that this man knew at least something about Jason’s companion.

With a cock of Jason’s head, the man was released to shuffle forward, towards the tank. The man paused, looking back desperately at Jason who just cocked his eyebrows.

“You gonna leave him waiting?” Jason asked as if were a question. The man scrambled to attention and dragged himself to the massive aquarium. He hesitated, and then when Dick didn’t materialize to receive the penance, he tapped on the glass. Jason recoiled.

“Oh, fuck, dude, no!” Jason snapped, right as Dick shot out in a blur of blue scales and sharp teeth. The disgraced dealer slung himself backward, landing on his tailbone with a shout.

“4.3 times faster,” Jason ground out. “Sound moves 4.3 times faster, _why would you tap on the glass_?”

The man blubbered incoherently on the ground, letting out a shout when Dick slammed the last quarter or so of his tail into the glass. But Dick wasn’t paying the man any mind, he was glaring at Jason.

Jason scowled.

Dick was addressing Jason for the first time in weeks, and it was to spite him in front of his errant lackey.

‘Make them leave,’ Dick mouthed, jerking his head towards the two dealers standing by. He needn’t gesture to the quivering man on the ground; he’d brought enough attention to himself as it was.

Jason glanced behind himself; the men had noticed Dick’s attention and they were shifting, eyes flickering anywhere but at Dick or Jason.

“Alright, take him out of here,” Jason barked to the dealers. To the perp, he said, “You’re fired. I won’t offer you the full severance package, but my boys’ll need a finger or two. So that the girls feel safe, you understand.”

Jason maintained eye contact with Dick, even as his dealers drug away their ex-coworker, who’d finally been rendered speechless. When the warehouse door closed with a shout, Dick cocked his head.

‘Did you say severance?’ he mouthed, eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion. Jason coughed. Rather than immediately respond, and try to keep conversing via spotty lip-reading, Jason climbed up the ladder beside Dick’s tank and shoved the top open with a huff. There was no place for Dick to climb out and lounge, Jason was constructing a v2 tank that would have such a structure, but he could at least pop his head up.

Dick didn’t move. Jason waited. Finally, Dick poked his head out of the water, just enough to blink his eerie eyes at Jason.

“What?” Jason muttered, lounging so that he sat on the ladder’s platform, half on the edge of the tank. Dick lifted his head, so his mouth crested the water.

“Severance?” he asked.

Jason blushed. “You don’t need to know how I run my business.”

Dick raised his eyebrows, and Jason winced.

“How dare you,” Dick hissed, flashing his teeth, the fins on his neck flaring.

Jason sneered. “You’re one to talk.”

“I’ve done nothing wrong!” Dick snapped.

“You replaced me!” Jason shouted.

“I could never!” Dick roared, pulling himself up and out of the water to meet Jason’s height.

They heaved, nose to nose. Water rolled off Dick’s skin. Jason’s attention flicked to Dick’s uselessly fluttering gills. He gently brushed away a few grains of sand that must have gotten caught there while Dick was writhing from the noise. Dick didn’t even flinch at Jason’s touch. 

“Should I get a larger grain? The plants need the sand, but I can add more lounging rocks or decorative marbles.” It would be a lot of marbles. Jason could afford it. 

Dick cocked his head. “I like the sand, and the mosses. I don’t know what marbles are.”

”Rounded glass. You may not remember it but when I was benched we’d throw them at the dinosaur and try to land them in its mouth.”

With a nod, Dick offered a soft smile. “I remember. Once, you hit the back of its head and the momentum paired with the ramp of the tail launched it at a stalactite. Cracked it and it broke off. You were so small, the splash soaked you.”

Jason grimaced. “Bruce noticed it missing too. Freak.”

”He only noticed because it was right above one of my nests,” Dick confessed. “He was pretty meticulous about documenting where I settled.”

”Oh,” Jason frowned. “You never told me. Did I-?”

”Completely demolish it? Yes.” Dick shrugged. “But I had others, and you were already upset. We were playing a game, something broke, but no one was hurt.” Dick paused and once again his gills fluttered. Guilt coiled in Jason’s core. He’d destroyed Dick’s nest with such ease, without ever having to consider the harm he’d caused until this moment. But then Dick interrupted Jason’s spiral by murmuring, “You could stop hurting people. You don’t have to be destructive.”

Jason’s expression snapped into a snarl and he lashed out at Dick with a fist, to demonstrate how destructive he could be. But, Dick caught Jason’s wrist and snarled right back, an animalistic growl tearing from his throat. 

Once again, they hovered across from one another, teeth bared. 

“It doesn’t have to be like this,” Dicked hissed, and it was so inhuman and vicious. Jason could be inhuman too. He snatched a fistful of Dick’s hair and tightened his grip, a quiet threat. 

Except then Dick’s eyes softened and he wrapped a hand around the back of Jason’s neck before pulling him into a biting kiss. Jason nipped Dick’s bottom lip, to remind him he wasn’t the only one with teeth, but he couldn’t resist releasing Dick’s hair to gently cup Dick’s face.

“I missed you,” Dick murmured into Jason’s mouth. “I still miss you.”

Jason ran his thumb along the delicate scales trailing along Dick’s cheekbone. “I’m here. I’ve been here,” Jason whispered, pulling away only to press his forehead against Dick’s. “I came back—why didn’t you wait for me?”

Dick hesitated. For a spell, the two stayed just like that, Jason hunched forward for Dick’s grip on the back of his neck, Dick’s tail gently swirling in the water to keep him afloat. Dick titled his head, brushing his nose alongside Jason’s.

“You were so far away,” Dick finally breathed. “I couldn’t reach you.”

“You gave up too easy,” Jason insisted, strain embittering his voice. “I would’ve waited, I wouldn’t have—wouldn’t have let him get away with it.”

Dick pulled away, cupping Jason’s neck and looking him in the eyes. “I can only chase him so far, Jason.” He placed a hand over Jason’s, guiding Jason’s fingertips over his scales. Jason snatched his hand away.

“Not him,” Jason growled. “Bruce. You let him truss up another kid, painted like a target, all so that he could carry on his self-indulgent tirade against monsters just like himself.”

With narrowed eyes, Dick spat, “I can no more easily change his mind or moods than I can walk. I stayed for you, for Tim. To shelter him in a way I couldn’t you. And now I can’t do even that because you’ve imprisoned me in an overglorified fish bowl. I have nothing to call my own, I have nothing but monuments to the complete and utter control you’ve asserted over me!” Dick gestured towards the aquarium’s decor. “You’ve foisted your warpath onto me and I will learn to hate you for it, even as much as I love you.” Jason opened his mouth as if to retort, but Dick, fueled by grief and pent rage, shouted, "No! You'll listen to me and you’ll look at what you’ve done!"

He grasped Jason’s collar and pulled him down into the water, dragging him a few feet under.

Jason tried to kick from his grasp, but Dick wrapped his tail around his legs and held Jason’s left wrist when Jason attempted to lash out. Jason could not understand Dick’s underwater language, but Dick chirped and chittered nonetheless, gesturing around them, at the landscape Jason so carefully designed.

While Dick’s grip was tight, Jason’s right hand was still free. Jason briefly fantasized about clawing at Dick’s gills with blunt fingernails, but he didn’t. He couldn’t, not to Dick. Instead, he pat Dick’s chest and tapped his mouth in a silent request. Dick hesitated but, with a huff punctuated by fluttering gills, he released Jason.

Jason immediately kicked and swarm upwards, until his head popped from the water. He gasped and coughed. Dick refused to surface, choosing to hover and circled around Jason’s submerged body, up until Jason landed a few kicks against his shoulder and chest. Dick appeared beside Jason, wrapping up whatever rant he’d been unleashing while down below.

“—stranded amid rock formations, hardly room to breathe, and yet you want _me_ to atone? After everything you’ve fucking done to me?" 

Jason blinked at him, and then he spat some water he’d caught and held in his mouth at Dick. Dick stopped talking.

“I’d rather you hate me,” Jason rasped, “and us be here, than you love me, while I’m six feet under.”

“Why can’t I love you and you be alive?” Dick begged, gripping a handful of Jason’s t-shirt. “Why does everything have to be so fucking extreme with you? Jason, what have you done that you can’t go back?”

“I don’t want to go back,” Jason grumbled. Dick shook him by his grip on the shirt, and the cloth tore underneath Dick’s claw-like nails.

“What did you do?” he demanded again. Jason cocked his eyebrows and Dick let out a frustrated growl. “What are you _doing_ , then? What is all of this?” He gestured to the tank again.

Jason blinked. “I’m atoning. For every one he and I ever fucked over with our inaction. You are too, Dick. You may not see it yet, but you’ve got shit to answer for too.”  

With that, Jason gripped the edge of the tank and slung himself back over the edge, onto the ladder platform. Clothes heavy and dripping, he carefully grabbed a crowbar he kept hanging off the ladder and used the extra length to snag the edge of the tank’s lid, pulling it over Dick once again. Dick gawked at him from where he floated, but he didn’t attempt to stop Jason.

 When Jason crawled down the ladder and headed for the door, Dick slammed a fist against the glass of the tank. Jason turned and watched Dick from where Dick hovered, pressed close to the glass, mouth open, teeth bared. Jason returned, pressed his hand over where Dick’s fist rested.

“I know,” Jason cooed. “But you’ll get used to tight spaces. I did.”

With that, he left Dick alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Dick remained scarce in the weeks following their spat. Jason knew Dick was avoiding him among rock formations and tall grass, and he’d considered rearranging Dick’s aquarium in a petty show of authority. To remind Dick that it was Jason who held all of the cards, who dictated the boundaries of their relationship.

But he didn’t. He let Dick sulk in isolation, it was just as well. The climax of Jason’s coup d’etat approached; Black Mask’s operations were devastated, and the dominos Jason had so carefully erected were primed to be knocked down with a bang and a bow. At the end of it all, Dick would return to Jason. He did once, he'd do it again.

And once the Joker was painted black and blue and red all over, Jason could turn his attention to the issue of the newest Robin. Perhaps by then, without Bruce or the Joker haunting their wake, Dick will have come around. He'll see the necessity in Jason's methodology, he'll want Jason just as Jason has always wanted him. They’d be a team again, a better, badder Dynamic Duo.

It was that optimism that kept Jason clinging close to Dick. He still spoke to Dick as if nothing had changed, and he spent his spare minutes on the logistics for a more sophisticated aquarium. When he wasn't inspecting incoming merchandise, he was sifting through various textures of crushed coral and choosing exotic meats to introduce into Dick's diet. Dick left him to pine, but Jason was the first to arrive and the last to leave the warehouse, and he was quick to dismiss his operatives all so he could steal even a modicum of privacy with Dick. 

“I love you,” Jason murmured against the dense wall of Dick's aquarium once his last dealer deployed for the night. He placed a hand on the acrylic, right over the handprint he’d left the night before. The water hung still, the only sound in the dimly lit warehouse coming from the massive, humming filtration system that kept Dick’s water oxygen-rich and clean. Jason thought he saw a flicker of movement, but Dick didn’t appear and Jason chalked it up to a fanciful imagination.

An alarm on Jason’s phone chirped to remind Jason to sleep. He didn’t have room to err anymore, not when his reckoning approached. Alexander the Great slept before waging war, and so would Jason. He dropped his hand, grabbed his bag, and headed for the warehouse entrance.

“Goodnight, Dick,” he threw over his shoulder before killing the lights but for those above the aquarium and slipping out.

The entrance slammed shut behind him. For a spell, the warehouse remained hushed, and not a creature stirred.

But then a suited body dropped from the ceiling to land directly in front of the aquarium with a resounding _thump_. Dick, from inside the rock formation where he curled in a tight ball of misanthropy and coiled tail, felt more than heard the reverberation. He lifted his head, muscles sore and tight from his new, sedentary habits. When he heard the scrape of the aquarium’s lid being pried open, Dick shook himself loose and carefully peeked out from his mock cave. The timing was off for sanctioned visitors, but Dick knew no man nor beast willing to force entry into Red Hood's headquarters. 

The angle wasn’t great, and so he drifted further out, craning his neck to make out the figure hovering over his temporary home. He could see a watery silhouette leering down, but whoever it was, was an unfamiliar blur. Dick blinked, adjusting his eyesight to accommodate far vision, but it didn't clarify much. As deep as Dick was, the stranger was a smudge of black and grey.

Still, this was Jason’s warehouse and few bipedals could match Dick in the water, so Dick lazily drifted out from the cave and chittered up at the figure. The figure did not move nor respond, so Dick pushed off from the sandy floor to float just a bit closer.

In a sharp movement too quick for a human, the figure dove into Dick’s water. Dick hissed unhappily and darted from side to side. The tank was too small for the sort of evasive swimming he wanted, and so he settled with his awkward, cramped pacing as the water settled and the figure swam closer. And then Dick recognized him.

An unwelcome face in any other circumstance, Dick trilled before darting to meet the man, who Dick knew as Slade on a good day and Deathstroke on every other. Slade was in his suit, the orange made dull and murky by the water, but he was stripped of his mask and any apparent weapons and so Dick did not bother with wariness. It would take much more than Slade’s hands to hurt Dick in the water.

“Fancy seeing you here, stranger,” Dick smirked in that watery language of his. He wound his tail around Slade’s legs, felt Slade squirm in his grip, and then tugged Slade close. Unperturbed, Slade scratched Dick at the base of the fin that fanned out behind his left eardrum, and Dick cooed. It had been so long since he'd been touched casually, and by anyone other than Jason or someone in Jason's employ, that Dick shamelessly exposed his neck and clicked encouragements. 

But then Slade drew back his hand to jerk his thumb up towards the surface. Dick pouted, shaking Slade who only patted his tail consolingly.

“It’s not comfortable,” Dick explained uselessly. Slade couldn’t understand him, Slade couldn’t even hear some of the vibrations Dick was speaking in. Bruce had a gadget for this, but Bruce probably hadn't even noticed that Dick was missing. “He put me in a plastic box as if I’m not semi-aquatic. There's nowhere to lounge outside of the water, Slade. No sun, not even any heat lamps. Really, you have no idea the circumstances I’ve been living in. I could kill him.” Dick bit his lip, a human mannerism he'd picked up even though his sharp teeth immediately tore through the thin skin of his lip and left trails of blood in the water each time. "I shouldn't say that," he murmured around the taste of salt and copper. 

Slade tapped his own throat and once again gestured to the surface. Dick cocked his eyebrows.

“Don’t be dramatic,” he chided Slade, shaking him again so that Slade's fanned hair waved back and forth. “I know you don't need to breathe yet. I created Bruce's file on you.”

Slade crossed his arms. Dick rolled his eyes and unraveled his tail from around Slade. Once released, Slade kicked up to the surface and Dick followed, leisurely stretching as he did. He really was going to atrophy if he didn’t regain some level of activity. The expansive, winding pools around and beneath Bruce's cave came to mind, leaving Dick's throat tight. 

Once they broke the surface, Slade remained in the water, head bobbing and a single arm slung onto the ladder's platform to keep himself afloat. Dick poked his head out with a grin, dancing his tail like a ribbon eel to keep himself buoyant.

“Never thought I’d be this happy to see you,” Dick murmured, a half-cocked smile tugging up the corner of his mouth. “I'd assume you were here to kill me, but you’re not stupid. To what unsavory contract do I owe the pleasure?”

“You think I couldn’t kill you like this?” Slade mused, reaching a hand out to cup Dick's neck, palm just barely brushing Dick's gills. Dick pursed his lips and wrapped his tail around Slade’s legs again, jerking Slade so that Slade's damp fingers slipped from the rim of the tank.

“You can try,” Dick murmured as Slade kicked against Dick's grip on reflex. With a hum, Dick jerked Slade beneath the surface of the water before releasing him again. When Slade's head bobbed up, Dick flashed his extending canines in a pearly smile. “It’s been a while since I’ve gotten any exercise. Try me, you’ll be spoiling me rotten.”

Slade spat water at Dick, but a smile crossed his features. “This fishbowl isn't right, kid. It's a shame I can't just steal you away from here. I’ve got a beachside property, a pretty monstrosity like you needs a nice reef.”

Dick snorted and splashed a handful of water at Slade’s face. “Brackish water, Slade. I wouldn’t do well in the ocean.”

Slade frowned and licked a drop of water from his lip. “This is hardly brackish,” he murmured. “Kid, are you doing alright? Need me to adjust your salinity?”

“Jason's managing it fine,” Dick snapped, despite his previous complaints regarding Jason's floor plan. “ You're not here for a welfare check, what do you want?”

Slade reached out and brushed Dick’s wet hair behind his ear. “Your boy’s made some enemies. Enemies that’ll pay a pretty penny to see him humbled.”

"You'll never get far. I'll disembowel you before you so much as touch him," Dick growled, thrusting a hand out to wrap around Slade's throat and slamming him against the wall of the tank. "I'll give him your skin to wear as a trophy." 

Slade grinned wolfishly. "I have no intention of laying a hand on your boy," he promised, reaching out to scratch behind Dick's ear again. Dick cocked his head. 

"Slade," Dick warned. 

"Sh," Slade hushed, "I came for you, pretty creature. You don't get much company, do you? Left alone to rot in a too-small enclosure." As Slade cooed, he continued to scratch and stroke Dick's head and neck, and Dick's grip on Slade's throat relaxed. 

"Leave, Slade," Dick growled, though it was quiet. Slade clicked his tongue. 

"I will," Slade promised, even as Dick felt a pinprick of pain right underneath Dick's left side gill plate. 

"Slade!" Dick admonished, eyelashes already fluttering. "No, don't... fuck, you suck," Dick sighed, his hand loosening and then sliding completely from Slade's neck. Slade kicked Dick back and Dick sunk, face contorting into vicious, unadulterated anger before his eyes fell shut and his face grew lax. Slade stayed long enough to watch as Dick continued to drift until Dick's body landed with a puff of sand onto the aquarium floor. 

Then, Slade slung himself back onto the ladder platform and set out for the filtration system. 

* * *

 

When Jason returned to the warehouse, Americano in tow, it smelled like a candle store in autumn. He wrinkled his nose and glanced around for the... cinnamon? Nutmeg? He scrubbed his nose and strode towards his desk. 

"Morning, Dick," he mumbled without sparing a glance as he walked by Dick's aquarium, as had become routine. Per usual, there wasn't so much as a flicker of movement in response. Jason perched on the edge of his desk, sifting through reports and inventory lists while mentally arranging his day. 

The spicy scent that hung in the warehouse burned his nose. He sniffed his coffee, but it smelled the same as it did in the coffee shop. 

"Who the fuck is wearing potpourri for cologne," Jason snapped, tossing a folder aside to peruse later. He heard shuffling steps, and then a clearing throat to his side. 

"Uh, boss?" a gruff voice asked with the constitution of a frozen feeder mouse. 

"Hm?" Jason hummed, squinting at the updated budget his accountant left. The ammunition allotment seemed off. 

"It's, uh. Dick won't eat." 

Jason waved his hand flippantly. "He's throwing a tantrum. Leave him some food anyway, he'll get to it when he thinks we aren't watching." He'd need to swing by the Narrows later; clear out the trash in preparation for a potentially extended absence. He'd need to arrange transportation for Dick too, on the chance it all went south. Judging by Bruce's behavior so far, it would. 

"No, he's... fuck, boss, just look." 

Jason jerked to attention, glaring at the lackey shifting feet by his desk. It was the same one who managed the aquarium's filtration and weekly cleaning. Dick liked him, Jason had recently given him a raise because of it. The man coughed and then gestured to the aquarium. Jason lurched to his feet and shoved past the employee. 

Prone on the sand and grit, Dick lay stretched out and limp. His eyes were closed and his mouth parted. 

Jason cursed, first at himself for not having seen Dick earlier, and then again with intent at the perpetrator. Through the green haze settling over Jason's vision, he could see that Dick was breathing, but it was slow; his gills scarcely fluttering. The sharp, spicy scent from earlier hung so thickly it scalded Jason's throat. 

"Dick!" Jason shouted, slamming a fist against the aquarium glass. Dick didn't stir. 

Someone cleared their throat behind Jason. Jason took a steadying breath and then barked over his shoulder. 

"Call Leslie!" he barked. "Ask her nicely. Get him out of there, into the medical pool. Then I want the security footage, and I want a fucking name." He took another breath and fell into a cough. "And _someone_ figure out what the _fuck_ is going on with that goddamn smell!" 


End file.
